What are you risking to get to a higher place?

Last summer I was on top of the world. I was self employed and doing quite well. I had a beautiful home, great kid, family, boyfriend, nice car, blah, blah, blah. I thought success was about having it all. I did it - alone. I have never had child support or alimony (he owes me nothing but being the great Dad is he to our son). I was damn proud of having it all!

Feeling rather invincible I let my health insurance go. Over $700 a month? Rather pocket that and have a new Coach purse, or two.

During a trip to Rocky Point deep sea fishing I got very sick. At the same time I noticed a "bug bite" - which turned out to be a staph infection I incurred during a bad burn from a - ah - bikini wax.

The next day I got sicker - finally scaring the boyfriend into driving me over the border to a hospital. I not only had a staph infection - I had MRSA. Without going into gory details MRSA infections have to heal from the inside out. So, the 2 inch incision was left open and had to be "packed" everyday. EXTREMELY painful!

I didn't work for 2 weeks - and oh, I had to pay out of pocket for all the treatment.

Six weeks later the boyfriend and I were camping. I tripped (no drugs or alcohol involved). It was cold out so I had my hands in my pockets. I fell on my face, which absorbed all the impact.

We camped for another two days. I was NOT going to ruin another vacation! When I got home I went to the ER (not happily since I had no insurance). MRI revealed 8 broken bones and an orbital blow out. My optic muscle was actually impinged in a "trap door fracture" in my eye socket. Surgeons were not sure the eye would ever work again. I had not noticed it was not moving since it was swollen shut.

Anyway - emergency surgery and 3 months of being blind in my left eye and everything is relatively back to normal - Thank God!

However, I am out of all my savings from having paid for my medical mishaps.

On Monday I officially lose the house if I cannot pay my mortgage. I can't.

While I am sad - I no longer measure my happiness by what I have. I can see. My son is healthy, the rest of my family is healthy (though my cousin lost his 19 year old son last week - another reason to be reminded of how lucky I am for what I DO have).

I can move. I don't have to have this house. And, in learning that I learned I already have it all.

I truly, from the bottom of my heart - am grateful!

I was not willing to risk it all to get to a higher place - but the Universe had a different plan.

I want to wake up each morning and wonder what I am willing to risk to get to a higher place. I want to remember that abundance is not bad - but it is not measured in money or things either. I won't turn down a great income again - but I will know what it's place is in my life.

What really, really matters to you?